


Ripped Apart

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Death, F/F, Fake Character Death, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 05:48:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11007264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Inspired by All I Want by Kodaline.Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Ripped Apart

All I want is nothing more  
To hear you knocking at my door  
\---

You’d sunk into your bed, the tears overwhelming you as you sunk deeper and deeper in the abyss of the last few days. All of a sudden, you heard a knock at the door and bounded out of your bed. You ran to the door and swung it open, hoping someone would be there, but no one was. There was a moment, hours earlier, that you’d assumed you had no more tears to cry, but when you realized you’d heard a knock in your head and that Emily, the woman you loved, wasn’t actually coming back, you dissolved in front of the open door of your apartment. When you closed your eyes, you saw her face. It was the only time you could find a semblance of peace.

Minutes passed before you were able to open your eyes once more. Your hope, your desire, was that you’d see her face again when you opened your eyes - live and in the flesh, but she wasn’t there. Doyle had taken her away. Once your sadness was replaced with anger, you’d hunt that man until the day one of you died. You would make him pay for killing the woman you loved or die trying.

\---  
‘Cause if I could see your face once more  
I could die as a happy woman I’m sure  
\---

As a sob choked through you, you pulled on the doorknob to get yourself up off the floor, and for a fleeting moment, you thought you saw her at the end of the hall. Her raven hair silkily moving in the light air streaming in front your apartment. Her slightly pink lips beckoning you forward. And those eyes, those beautiful eyes making you feel like you were the only two on earth. But as quickly as you’d seen her fly into your vision, she flew back out, leaving the hallway and empty shell of what you’d come to know. If you could see her one more time, in person, you were sure you’d die happily. She was the only woman you’d ever loved…and she was gone.

\---  
When you said your last goodbye  
I died a little bit inside  
I lay in tears in bed all night  
Alone without you by my side  
\---

It had all been so normal. When someone was ripped away from you in the way she was, shouldn’t goodbyes have been equally extravagant? Shouldn’t you have had the chance to tell her what she meant to you? She died not knowing - not knowing that she had been the best thing to ever happen to you. 

The last you’d asked her was if she was okay. What a stupid question that was in hindsight. Of course she wasn’t okay. That was your goodbye. Those were the last words that you’d uttered to the love of your life. 

As that realization set in, you collapsed in the middle of the floor, just steps from the bed you’d shared, and allowed the sounds of your choked sobs and stream of tears to serve as your solemn lullaby.

—-

The morning came too quickly - and duty called once more. Your muscles were heavy as you walked to the bathroom. One glance into the mirror was all you could bear. When you gazed at your reflection, Emily stared back at you. “I never got to say goodbye,” you whispered to your reflection. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I’m sorry.”

It was bad enough that she was gone, but you walked into work you realized how much worse it was. No one could make eye contact with you, save for Garcia. “Oh, baby, come here.” 

She held her arms open and despite wanting to snap at her, tell her you weren’t in the mood for a pity party, you fell into her embrace and broke out into another fit of sobs. “What am I supposed to do?” you asked. “I’m afraid I’m close to feeling nothing…I don’t know where to go.”

\---  
'Cause you brought out the best of me  
A part of me I’d never seen  
You took my soul wiped it clean  
Our love was made for movie screens  
\---

“What did she do for you?” Garcia asked.

Your head snapped up. “What?” What the hell was that supposed to mean?

“What did your relationship do for you?”

Emily brought out the absolute best in you. When you’d first started at the Bureau, you were shy, reserved, afraid to let anyone in, but she brought out a side of you that you didn’t think existed. “She made me me.” You choked on your words. “She showed me who I was - took everything I was ever ashamed of and wiped it away. How am I supposed to move on without her here?”

“You take your time to grieve, and when the time comes, you carry on the best of her in here.” She placed her hand over your heart and stood with you in the middle of the Bureau as you sobbed. Even in the midst of it all, Garcia managed to look on the bright side, but that wasn’t you. As the tears fell from your eyes, you weren’t sure what to make of Garcia’s words; you were pretty sure that the best of Emily had died with her, ripping it away from your grasp.


End file.
